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Burevi's blog / self courage - Posts
Things Men Wish You Knew Brenda Della Casa You've been told they are un-committable creatures from another planet who "think with their nether regions," but the truth is, the guy in your life is a lot more like you than you might think -- he just doesn't know how to tell you.
If your man won't open up about what's on his mind, don't fret. You are about to find out the top seven things he's secretly wishing you would start and stop doing right now. No analyzing required! Please Stop: Nagging Him to Be More Romantic
He never buys you flowers, takes you out to dinner or lives up to your grand romantic ideals like your sister's guy. How does he know? You never stop telling him!
He Wishes You Would: Appreciate the Things He Does Do for You
Ok, so he may not surprise you with roses, but how about those days he walks the dogs so you can sleep in or the fact he suffers through your romantic comedies when he's dying to see people run away from a chainsaw-wielding maniac?
Please Stop: Setting Him Up for Failure
You've been eating a little more pie and haven't seen the gym in months. Your pants are significantly more snug, but you refuse to believe you have gained the 15 pounds the scale claims you have. So you decide to ask your guy the question that makes the ears of all men bleed… "Babe, do I look fat?"
What He Wants: To Get Out of the Line of Fire
Let's deconstruct this for a second. You know you have gained weight, screwed up at work or should not have cut those bangs at home, but you don't want to face it -- so you expect your mate to boost your confidence by lying to you or running the risk of being called an inconsiderate jerk? This is hardly a healthy relationship habit! What He Wants: You to Accept Him for Who He Is
You really like your guy, but his style, haircut and/or Star Wars obsession makes you cringe. He's a really nice guy, so you keep dating him with the intention of "tweaking him to perfection" once he agrees to go exclusive.
Please Stop: Trying to Change Him
While it's normal for partners to influence one another, telling your guy to let go of ideas, opinions or the things he enjoys or cares about is controlling and disrespectful. If he tells you he's a football fanatic while dating, don't pout when he doesn't want to do brunch on Sundays two years later. Please Stop: Wearing So Much Green
A pretty saleslady tries to help him at the store and you accuse him of wanting to sleep with her. His best female friend calls him late at night and you wonder if they are having an affair. He's so scared of your outbursts that he feels he can't look anywhere but down when you're out together!
What He Wants: You to Trust Him
While a little jealousy can keep a relationship fresh, there is nothing that can ruin a good time faster than a cold plate of distrust. Unless your guy is doing something to make you feel insecure or disrespected, cut him a little slack.
Please Stop: Analyzing Everything
We gals spend our Sunday brunches trying to figure out what he means, what he's thinking and how to respond. Here are the answers: Exactly what he said, work/sports/that funny YouTube video and honestly.
What He Wants: Take Him at Face Value
I know you won't believe me, but men are pretty straightforward creatures. Ever hear two men arguing and one of them saying, "What did you mean by that?" Yeah, didn't think so. Please Stop: Expecting Him to Always Make the First Move, Plans, etc.
You lie in bed waiting for him to put the moves on and get ticked when Friday rolls around and he's made no plans.
What He Wants: You to Take the Initiative
Welcome to 2008, ladies. We can not only manage corporations and run for president, we can (gasp!) make dinner reservations, too! While the damsel role can be fun, the truth is, men love women who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. They also love knowing that a woman cares enough about them to make the effort and pull out all of the stops for a change. Please Stop: Making Him Choose Between You and His Friends
He's Mr. Wonderful when he's out with you, but get him around his old friend Jason and he's lighting his farts and playing beer pong in 30 seconds flat! Why does he hang out with such a loser? He's such a bad influence...
What He Wants: You to Respect His Relationships
You'd be hard-pressed to find a woman on the planet who likes every one of her partner's friends, but that's not the point. The fact is your guy is an individual who obviously feels a connection and bond with the people he has chosen to have in his life -- in addition to the one he has with you -- and just like those people need to respect your role, you need to respect theirs.
If your man won't open up about what's on his mind, don't fret. You are about to find out the top seven things he's secretly wishing you would start and stop doing right now. No analyzing required! Please Stop: Nagging Him to Be More Romantic
He never buys you flowers, takes you out to dinner or lives up to your grand romantic ideals like your sister's guy. How does he know? You never stop telling him!
He Wishes You Would: Appreciate the Things He Does Do for You
Ok, so he may not surprise you with roses, but how about those days he walks the dogs so you can sleep in or the fact he suffers through your romantic comedies when he's dying to see people run away from a chainsaw-wielding maniac?
Please Stop: Setting Him Up for Failure
You've been eating a little more pie and haven't seen the gym in months. Your pants are significantly more snug, but you refuse to believe you have gained the 15 pounds the scale claims you have. So you decide to ask your guy the question that makes the ears of all men bleed… "Babe, do I look fat?"
What He Wants: To Get Out of the Line of Fire
Let's deconstruct this for a second. You know you have gained weight, screwed up at work or should not have cut those bangs at home, but you don't want to face it -- so you expect your mate to boost your confidence by lying to you or running the risk of being called an inconsiderate jerk? This is hardly a healthy relationship habit! What He Wants: You to Accept Him for Who He Is
You really like your guy, but his style, haircut and/or Star Wars obsession makes you cringe. He's a really nice guy, so you keep dating him with the intention of "tweaking him to perfection" once he agrees to go exclusive.
Please Stop: Trying to Change Him
While it's normal for partners to influence one another, telling your guy to let go of ideas, opinions or the things he enjoys or cares about is controlling and disrespectful. If he tells you he's a football fanatic while dating, don't pout when he doesn't want to do brunch on Sundays two years later. Please Stop: Wearing So Much Green
A pretty saleslady tries to help him at the store and you accuse him of wanting to sleep with her. His best female friend calls him late at night and you wonder if they are having an affair. He's so scared of your outbursts that he feels he can't look anywhere but down when you're out together!
What He Wants: You to Trust Him
While a little jealousy can keep a relationship fresh, there is nothing that can ruin a good time faster than a cold plate of distrust. Unless your guy is doing something to make you feel insecure or disrespected, cut him a little slack.
Please Stop: Analyzing Everything
We gals spend our Sunday brunches trying to figure out what he means, what he's thinking and how to respond. Here are the answers: Exactly what he said, work/sports/that funny YouTube video and honestly.
What He Wants: Take Him at Face Value
I know you won't believe me, but men are pretty straightforward creatures. Ever hear two men arguing and one of them saying, "What did you mean by that?" Yeah, didn't think so. Please Stop: Expecting Him to Always Make the First Move, Plans, etc.
You lie in bed waiting for him to put the moves on and get ticked when Friday rolls around and he's made no plans.
What He Wants: You to Take the Initiative
Welcome to 2008, ladies. We can not only manage corporations and run for president, we can (gasp!) make dinner reservations, too! While the damsel role can be fun, the truth is, men love women who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. They also love knowing that a woman cares enough about them to make the effort and pull out all of the stops for a change. Please Stop: Making Him Choose Between You and His Friends
He's Mr. Wonderful when he's out with you, but get him around his old friend Jason and he's lighting his farts and playing beer pong in 30 seconds flat! Why does he hang out with such a loser? He's such a bad influence...
What He Wants: You to Respect His Relationships
You'd be hard-pressed to find a woman on the planet who likes every one of her partner's friends, but that's not the point. The fact is your guy is an individual who obviously feels a connection and bond with the people he has chosen to have in his life -- in addition to the one he has with you -- and just like those people need to respect your role, you need to respect theirs.
A successful Business man was growing old and knew it was time
to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to
do something different. He called all the young executives in his
company together.
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have
decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but
the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today -
one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come
back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed
I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the
one I choose will be the next CEO".
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received
a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped
him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.
Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After
about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about
their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept
checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five
weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their
plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six
months went by--still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed
his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing.
Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept
watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that
he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest
about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be
the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was
right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was
amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were
beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor
and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants,
trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will
be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the
back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director
to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows
I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his
seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and
then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief
Executive! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even
grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said? Then the CEO
said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told
you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today.
But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible
for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and
plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you
substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one
with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it.
Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"
to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to
do something different. He called all the young executives in his
company together.
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have
decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but
the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today -
one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come
back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed
I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the
one I choose will be the next CEO".
One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received
a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped
him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.
Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After
about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about
their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept
checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five
weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their
plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six
months went by--still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed
his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing.
Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept
watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that
he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest
about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be
the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was
right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was
amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were
beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor
and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants,
trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will
be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the
back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director
to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows
I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his
seed - Jim told him the story.
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and
then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief
Executive! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even
grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said? Then the CEO
said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told
you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today.
But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible
for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and
plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you
substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one
with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it.
Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!"
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